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Question: Where are all of the real examples of those that have struggled and overcome their Aspie/NT challenges and are now happily married years or decades later?Everyone gives broad and generic advice like, "Both need an in depth understanding of AS" or my personal favorite: "Both partners must make a serious commitment to making the relationship work." Well of course everything you said in this article nearly six years ago is true and appropriate... Even the books out there do not outline step-by-step advice on HOW to accomplish all of these appropriate tips... Seems unfair to be the #1 result (not your doing but definitely a testament to how many people are seeking help) when you are not telling any NT or Aspie something they haven't already figured out if they have made it down the aisle.And the AS person will have a hard time understanding his/her impact on the NT individual.
Second, in doing some research for this article, I found a site called Aspires: Climbing the Mountain Together.
One of the best things that can happen is for the couple to seek help from a therapist or marriage coach who understands the unique differences between Asperger's Syndrome individuals and NT individuals.
If the therapist does not understand the unique differences, all that will happen is the couple going back and forth, arguing for their own view of the situation.
Reality sinks in once the emotional high wears off, and if there are not some tools for navigating the journey, Aspie-NT couples may find themselves at-risk.
There are many successful Aspie-Aspie marriages and Aspie-NT marriages.