Getting married versus dating
Don't discount your personal assessment of future happiness: It's tied to underlying processes you're doing now that will later affect relationship well-being. Research (Felmee, 1995) examining these "fatal attractions" has discovered that they often take a certain form.
When a partner is dissimilar from us in a specific way or has traits that are extreme—"She's super enthusiastic! "—we sometimes see these as highly attractive qualities during relationship initiation, but they later become highly qualities that can reduce relationship satisfaction.
Married people experience less depression and fewer struggles with alcohol, according to a study published in the "Journal of Marriage and Family" in 1996.
Instead of spending your weekends at parties drinking alcohol and potentially waking up the next day with regrets, marriage will give you the opportunity to spend more of your time with a person who loves you, and will hold you accountable to make the best decisions for yourself and your relationship.
When a person decides to date instead of marry at a young age, it gives him the opportunity to build a firm financial foundation for himself, as well as establish his identity before entering into the commitment of marriage.
Women who postpone marriage are less likely to divorce, more likely to achieve economic stability for themselves and also more likely to be satisfied with their work and family commitments, according to Kathleen Gerson, author of "The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work, and Family." While you may be tempted to rush into marriage with the person you love, continuing to date will give you the chance to be truly ready when you decide to say "I do."Making the decision to date instead of getting married will result in less relationship stability.
Prior to entering a long-term commitment, consideration of you and your partner's long-term compatibility along the dimensions that connected you could be an important step in identifying potential "fatal attractions." 5.
Do you expect that things will be different in marriage?
Many young adults today believe that it is very important to work full time for a year or two before getting married, and that they must be completely financially dependent before entering into such a serious commitment, according to the report "Knot Yet." Furthermore, if your spouse has different ideas of what to spend your money on than you do, you may have difficulty reaching agreements on how to budget the money you make and plan for your future.
Dating provides the opportunity to build a secure foundation before entering into the marriage commitment, but also offers less stability in relationships.
Marriage lowers depression risk, but also may result in financial constraints, especially if a couple marries at a very young age.
It's common for contemporary couples to live together before marriage, but their reasons for doing so appear to predict how happy their marriage will eventually be.
When couples use cohabitation to test out a relationship, or when they cohabitate for practical reasons (e.g., finances), they tend to report less dedication to their relationships and less relationship confidence.